3.1.11 - First Day !!!

I have always believed that first step is very necessary to start any journey. I took that first step by creating this blog and informing some of my friends about it. You might ask why I did it? As I said yesterday, I have to start somewhere. Therefore, this blog is my first step towards achieving all what I want to, I now finally have my dreams in written and I just require the action to turn them into reality. Moreover, you guys are my motivation, a witness to my journey. You will judge me, tell me about the mistakes I am making, celebrate with me every wish I achieve and cheer me up when I am down.

Anyway, let me tell you about yesterday. The first thought that came in my mind when I put up this blog was “What the hell is wrong with me?”, yes I didn’t feel motivated or happy that I started a blog talking about achieving my dreams. I was scared, scared of what will happen if it fails, what if I stop updating the blog after a week, what if I am unable to achieve any of this wishes. That is what I want to kill, that thought of thinking about future as a miserable place, that negative attitude inside me. Yes, I am full of it, no matter how I come across to you but I am a person full of negativity. Am I happy about it? No way, I am not and that is why I want to change myself, not only physically but also mentally. I want to be happier, think less before doing anything, be more confident and throw the future planning in a dustbin. Be a better person, a much better one.
Moving ahead, well I started my yesterday with exercise. Yes, I worked out for an hour, even though I was exhausted and felt like I might die at any moment. I started reading Kite Runner and done with 37 pages, it is a nice novel. You can tell about any book by reading its first few pages. I talked to a school friend after a long time, I asked her for the number. She didn’t reply for next two hours and then she said, “Bye tkcr”. Yes, that was my first failure, but at least I tried. Today I’ll be meeting my sister, after a long time. It happens, here in Pune she lives 25 kms from my place, back in my hometown you encounter a new city after every 25 km. That’s how we small towners feel while travelling in a big city like Pune. But I think that delay in meeting her is my fault only, I don’t like going out a lot. A reason why I am still not well rehearsed with good hang-out places in Pune, something I need to change. So, I’ll be meeting her today. Most probably, we will be having dinner, and I wish her friends also come alongwith her. They are really nice and always care about me, they are much better mine. I wish I meet someone new tonight, I somewhere feel I will. But lets see.

I even edited my novel a little bit, I have now completed 39 chapters and still 30-40% of it is left. Considering I have started writing it with only 2-3 chapters in my mind, I think I have come a long way. I never thought I will be able to write a novel but now when I see my 35K words still incomplete story, I really thank myself for starting it and realizing I can do anything I want to.

Except that my day was a normal one, ate bananas after a long time. Had chicken in dinner (yummy). Watched Chelsea fuck up one more time and yes, I was very disappointed. However, I was in a good mood very soon. I can’t be upset for long, just need a joke or a happy memory to bring a smile at my face. I think I should use this power more often

Ok I have to leave now, gotta wash a t-shirt and take bath. J

P.S. Forgive me for my grammar mistakes, I promise I will keep on improving. 

2 Responses so far.

  1. chaishta says:

    its good to see that at-least someones making plans unlike lot of other people. you know what; its not only you who feels like this. Thinking about things you wanna do and unable to do it, its a very normal phenomenon. But someone who thinks is aware of oneself and that is very positive. Their is nothing negative. Someone who thinks improves throughout life. There are no failures in life because you are the one who decides which is failure and which is not. Call them opportunities instead.
    So what is your novel about?? Is it gonna be published soon??
    Good luck

  2. @Chaishta

    Hey thanks for becoming a part of my journey. And yes, i know that feeling is there in many people and one of them is me, but i don't want to be a part of that crowd. I want to shun this feeling and be somebody. Well yes there are no failures and every second is a new chance, but every second passed is a chance gone.

    My novel is about a teenager who meets his best friends after 4 years, and stays with him for 6 months. It is a story about those 6 months. Half fiction and half true. Yes, it will be published soon, i have to finish it first (60% done)

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