7.1.11 - First 7 days !!!

Hey guys, I am back after 4 days. But these were the longest 4 days I ever had.

As I told you, I went out for dinner with my sister. We had a lovely dinner and it was good to spend some quality time with her. My mom even sent me some dry fruits, blanket, a dress for the girl I love.
Now, she is the girl with whom I wanted to spend my valentine’s day as I have written in my bucket list. But yesterday she asked me to never call her again and last night had been the longest after the night my dad died. I missed her, I am missing her even now and I know I will keep on missing her, but that’s life, full of disappointments sprouting exactly at the exact places and times where you don’t want them. I can’t do anything to stop it from happening, but will I stop loving her and move on? Yes I will move on and be happy but she is the girl I love. I will still keep on loving her and trust my love, I will be hopelessly hopeful and one day I know she will be back. I have to wait for that day, but I will smile, I will make new friends and make a successful career for myself as she always wanted. She had always prayed for my future, and I won’t let her prayers go in vain. I will smile and be happy, because that is all she ever wanted and will wait for her.

Anyway, thank to Karen D’silva I got this chance to write for Chicken Soup, I even checked their site and found so many categories in which I can write. I think that is a good chance for me, because if I have to publish my novel, it might be useful to publish in a widely read magazine first. So, I hope it happens. On the other hand, I have written a new chapter in my novel. It had been tough writing it because of my mental status but then you have to chase your dreams despite all the troubles to achieve it.

There is one more problem that has come up, I might have to leave the flat within one week as the owners have sold it. According to contract, my owners can’t ask me to leave the place before 11 months i.e. before May. Plus, even if I agree to leave they have to give a month’s notice. Right now I have two options, fight with them or just change the flats. I will just go with the flow, I think from now onwards I will just leave myself to the mercy of my life. I will just trust the flow; let me see where my life takes me. I will try to welcome this new change no matter how hard it is, I will try to be happy.

There has been a difference in me during past few days, after all the troubles and difficult situations I have faced this year, I never blamed god. I didn’t complain to him, but just prayed to him and tried to trust his actions. I know it will be difficult in the beginning but then nothing is easy until you try to make it easy. I know if he closes one door then he always opens other. Let see what new opportunities I have. Will keep you guys informed.

Cya, hope I am happier next time I meet you guys. J

3.1.11 - First Day !!!

I have always believed that first step is very necessary to start any journey. I took that first step by creating this blog and informing some of my friends about it. You might ask why I did it? As I said yesterday, I have to start somewhere. Therefore, this blog is my first step towards achieving all what I want to, I now finally have my dreams in written and I just require the action to turn them into reality. Moreover, you guys are my motivation, a witness to my journey. You will judge me, tell me about the mistakes I am making, celebrate with me every wish I achieve and cheer me up when I am down.

Anyway, let me tell you about yesterday. The first thought that came in my mind when I put up this blog was “What the hell is wrong with me?”, yes I didn’t feel motivated or happy that I started a blog talking about achieving my dreams. I was scared, scared of what will happen if it fails, what if I stop updating the blog after a week, what if I am unable to achieve any of this wishes. That is what I want to kill, that thought of thinking about future as a miserable place, that negative attitude inside me. Yes, I am full of it, no matter how I come across to you but I am a person full of negativity. Am I happy about it? No way, I am not and that is why I want to change myself, not only physically but also mentally. I want to be happier, think less before doing anything, be more confident and throw the future planning in a dustbin. Be a better person, a much better one.
Moving ahead, well I started my yesterday with exercise. Yes, I worked out for an hour, even though I was exhausted and felt like I might die at any moment. I started reading Kite Runner and done with 37 pages, it is a nice novel. You can tell about any book by reading its first few pages. I talked to a school friend after a long time, I asked her for the number. She didn’t reply for next two hours and then she said, “Bye tkcr”. Yes, that was my first failure, but at least I tried. Today I’ll be meeting my sister, after a long time. It happens, here in Pune she lives 25 kms from my place, back in my hometown you encounter a new city after every 25 km. That’s how we small towners feel while travelling in a big city like Pune. But I think that delay in meeting her is my fault only, I don’t like going out a lot. A reason why I am still not well rehearsed with good hang-out places in Pune, something I need to change. So, I’ll be meeting her today. Most probably, we will be having dinner, and I wish her friends also come alongwith her. They are really nice and always care about me, they are much better mine. I wish I meet someone new tonight, I somewhere feel I will. But lets see.

I even edited my novel a little bit, I have now completed 39 chapters and still 30-40% of it is left. Considering I have started writing it with only 2-3 chapters in my mind, I think I have come a long way. I never thought I will be able to write a novel but now when I see my 35K words still incomplete story, I really thank myself for starting it and realizing I can do anything I want to.

Except that my day was a normal one, ate bananas after a long time. Had chicken in dinner (yummy). Watched Chelsea fuck up one more time and yes, I was very disappointed. However, I was in a good mood very soon. I can’t be upset for long, just need a joke or a happy memory to bring a smile at my face. I think I should use this power more often

Ok I have to leave now, gotta wash a t-shirt and take bath. J

P.S. Forgive me for my grammar mistakes, I promise I will keep on improving. 

2.1.11 - Hi

Hey guys !!! I don't know if any of you is reading this. But i know one day i will surely read this first post when i look back to this time.

It has been a long time since i have arrived on this earth, 21 years 6 months and 18 days to be precise. I have been lazy since long, got disappointed at every failure, panic a lot and suffers from an acute shortage of confidence at times. Since childhood i have this habit of day dreaming, i always thought about doing various stuffs and achieving different things. But have i ever took an action towards fulfilling those dream? Naah !!! So, i have decided this is the time, the time to start my life again. I have spent enough time planning about my future, now i have to build it.

I have always believed in one thing i.e. "In the end it doesn't matter what you have achieved, what matters is how less you have lost in this journey of life." No matter what we do, one day all of us have to die. And when death arrives it doesn't ask for our educational qualifications or Job experiences. It doesn't even ask for how much money we have earned. However, it does ask one thing, the last thing that comes in your mind. "Have I achieved the happiness. Have I done everything you wanted to?"

Being educated and having a job, is more of a necessity than a want in most of the cases. What we turn out to be is not what we always wanted. In fact, what we always want never happens. As John Lennon said, "Life happens when you are busy making plans." Hence, i have decided to scrap this planning part and let the life happen now. I believe if you really want something you get it, you just have to take the first step, the invisible ladder appear by itself.

What i'll be doing here?

Well, i have taken a new year resolution. I want to achieve those dreams instead of just thinking about them, what i am going to achieve can be small like calling a friend whom i haven't talked to since 10 years or can be big, like publishing my first novel. I do not have everything in my mind now, so the thing is i will write down some of the ToDo's right now and will keep on adding more as soon as i remember them. I will try to achieve them, and will write my experience here. I don't know if i fail or succeed but i will try and keep you all informed. If none of you is interested then i will just keep myself informed. Let's start(the list is in random order):

List (as of 2.1.11) :

* Celebrate valentine's day with the girl i love for the first time in my life.
* Watch a cricket match in a stadium. (if possible a world cup match)
* Get my first big paycheck, and i want to take my mom on a trip.
* Finish my novel and get it published.
* Lose weight and reach the 72 kg mark.
* Call at least 10 school friends whom i haven't talked since 4-5 years.
* Visit Delhi and Mumbai to meet my friends from twitter.
* Make as many new friends i can.
* Get phone numbers of as many online friends as i can, and turn virtual friendship into real.
* Celebrate my birthday with friends for the first time since 2005 i.e. on 15th June
* I have promised myself, i will go home only after i become something my family could be proud of.
* To become financially independent.